One way Twilight should have gone…WRITTEN BY KATE

NOTE: Yes, I AM an anti. You honestly didn’t know that already? Just kidding 😛

**If Twilight HAD gone this way, we wouldn’t have gotten past book one!**

Bella: *walking into Forks High School* Oh, look, that guy is kind of hot. His name’s Edward? Oh well, who cares anyway? There’s more to life than hot guys. Or guys in general.

Bella: Oh, look, i’m really popular for some reason. Well, these people seem okay. I’ll be a good friend, and not ignore people or treat them like crap, and DEFINITELY not ditch them to hang out with my some guy.

Edward: I love you Bella. Hey, wanna go out with me?

Bella: Um, creepy much? *sigh* Fine, i’ll go out with you.

Bella: Okay, you’re nice and all, but I don’t believe in love at first sight.

*They date*

Edward: I love you Bella. Oh, and by the way, I love how you smell, and I sneak into your bedroom at night and watch you sleep.

Bella: You WHAT? EWWW! Stalker much? I want a restraining order! DAD, can you arrest Edward please?

Edward: And I sparkle too! *Goes out into the sun to demonstrate*

Bella: *Shields eyes from the glare* Ucch, that’s pathetic! Call yourself a vampire, what a sissy! Good-bye sparkly stalker! GTFO, okay?

Edward: Nooooooo! I LOVE you Bella.


Edward: I can’t LIVE without you! *Goes and commits suicide because of Bella’s rejection*

Bella: Whatever. Later, loser. *Continues life, gaining a personality and going to college, NOT getting married at 18 or becoming a teen mom or anything like that. She eventually earns a degree and becomes a doctor or a lawyer or some sort of respectable profession, never giving Edward a second thought, except to get a restraining order against him*


3 responses to “One way Twilight should have gone…WRITTEN BY KATE

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