Economic models explained

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

This is a repost from  “http://organizationsandmarkets.com/2009/02/25/21-economic-models-explained/” no copyright infingements are intended. I did NOT write this handy dandy article!

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8 responses to “Economic models explained

  1. This has been everywhere lately. Its all the rage in my bro’s school, i got it in a couple of emails, my mom showed it to me, and if i’m not mistaken it was on some sort of youtube channel. Who’s giving these cows such press coverage?

    • Really? That’s strange, one of my friends found it for me, but knowing her, it was probably from youtube 😛

      BTW I like how your username changes depending on what you comment on…

  2. Lol!
    I saw this in the most bizarre spot last year…..It was on a poster in a shop in London, (From my trip there), and it had pictures of the cows and such. If that makes sense, Lol.

    I swear the PvZ zombies somehow managed to escape the game and eat my brain somehow, O_O

    Anyways, this was funny, *clicks “Like” button*.

    And on the subject of Anonymous…..how can we/you be so certain that this Anonymous is the same person? I mean, it probably is, but who knows?

    • Lol, nice.

      As for Anonymous, his Gravatar icon is always the same, therefore it’s the same IP address. And he uses the same email 😛

  3. Well he has the same picture each time. And the same general wit. And attractiveness.

    Did you say PvZ? As in Protoss versus Zerg? AS IN STARCRAFT? STARCRAFT!!!!

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