Dolores teaches Charms

So, although I thought I had quit ages ago, I am back on Neopets. Do not mock me! It’s fun. Shut up. Anyway, I’m still running my old adoption agency, but I also joined guild (club, for those not educated in the ways of Neopia) and am now a Slytherin in Repello Muggletum (no muggles allowed!)

I am also feeding my love of HP roleplay as I RP as Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic, Hogwarts High Inquisitor, and Head of the Muggleborn Extermination Registration Commision.

This is all well and good (and shitload of fun) but I am also teaching a Hogwarts class in character! Ms. Umbridge is teaching Charms class! Cuz she’s so charming right? Ah dur dur dur durrr. SO I will be thinking of lessons and super short homework assignments for my students and I thought I’d share Lesson Number One with my faithful blog readers (that’s all 2 of you, right?)

So here we go. It’s not really in character since she basically just tells them to read the textbook…

Lesson One ~ Exploring the roots of incantations

All spells have an incantation, normally spoken aloud, that is required to achieve the required result. In the case of non-verbal spells, the incantation must be focussed upon and clearly thought of in one’s mind. Incantations are often an actual word in an ancient language, or a closely related word. The most common root language is Latin, since Latin, in turn, is the root of most European languages today. Examples of Latin rooted spells include Levicorpus, Expelliarmus, Lumos, and Aquamenti. As you can see, some spells are comprised of a couple different words, depending on what the spell does. The more complex spells will have more roots that simple ones. For example, Lumos, which simply conjures a light, is in fact, the Latin word for light. Expelliarmus, the Disarming spell, is from the Latin “expelo,” to push out, and “arma,” weapon.

Your homework for tonight will be to find the exact Latin roots of the following spells:

  • Finite
  • Flagrate
  • Stupefy
  • Scourgify

Preview of “But We Need Her”

I did a bit of writing over the…er…night, and decided to preview a bit of what I’ve written before I publish it all on BelleFanfics. Here you go! It takes place directly after Tainted Love ends 🙂

 

“In the light of the Dark Lord’s recent…temporary demise,” Snape said, adressing the Death eaters gathered outside the meeting hall, “The longest serving Death eaters have formed a council to elect a new leader until our Lord returns. We will begin our discussion now.”

And he swept back inside the hall, the door clicking shut behind him. Bellarosa looked around fearfully though she was perfectly safe in Narcissa’s arms.

“Shh my darling, everything will be alright,” whispered Narcissa anxiously, stroking her niece’s hair.

~

The newly formed Death eater council sat uneasily around the meeting table. The gothic throne at the head was empty, and the council was facing a problem; who would fill it? Who was worthy to fill the gap left by their feared, but vanished, Dark Lord?

“It should be me,” Lucius began, “I have never swayed in my loyalties,” he shot a pointed glance at Snape.

“No!” snarled Fenrir Greyback, his matted hair bristling slightly, “I lead the wolves, I can lead the Death eaters!”

A squabble ensued while the pale blond wizard and the beastly werewolf argued. They were joined by Rabastan, his dark voice softer than the others,

“I claim leadership, for it was I who rid the Dark Lord of Bellatrix,”

There was silence while the men considered this. Finally, the smooth voice of Snape made a valid point,

“But it was I who tipped you off,”

Lucius spoke up, flustered,

“You cannot lead! You are right under Dumbledore’s nose!”

“Correct my friend, but I can choose who is suited to lead.”

“Then who?” growled Greyback, “Enough of this arguing!”

Snape raised an eyebrow, amused.

“Isn’t it obvious? Bella is the one to lead.”

Hopefully back online (plus a bit of news!)

HELLO ALL!

I, Lexa Lestrange, solemnly swear that I am up to no good, as usual.

As I may have told some of you, my laptop is having issues with the Fanpop scripts, and therefore I haven’t been online. Hopefully I’ll be able to fix this but in the meantime I will be migrating to the downstairs computer. That means I will be dragging my lazy butt all the way down about 17 stairs every time I want to talk to you people. Is anyone feeling honoured? I sure hope so!

I have just returned from a weekend at my cottage and am chock full of new ideas. And by that I mean full of plots. Which are like plans, but more devious. I’m planning a stageplay of Sweeney Todd in my drama class next year, casting myself as Nellie of course! And I’m plotting…

TO CONTINUE TAINTED LOVE. Spoilers below.

The fabulous fanfic that I threw together a couple months ago which ends in the deaths of the Dark Lord, Bellatrix, and their young son, as well as the startling survival of their younger daughter, Bellarosa. It shall be continued. Bellarosa will take over the helm of the Death eaters and whip them into shape, along with her yet-to-be-thought-of right hand…person. Gender is also undecided. Shall she have a best friend or a romantic interest? I have her long term life planned out, and she will be lonely, but I need to give her some distractions. Ahhhh these characters. Like my children.

So that’s that. I’ll probably get enraged at something soon and draft a quick rant about it. Might even be a S.P.E.W. rant from Hermione’s perspective if I can get in character.

 

In the meantime, hope to see you all around, my fellow Potterheads! Mischief managed!

Stupid Product Labels


Credit: http://www.rinkworks.com
I thought these were funny, what do you guys think?

“Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet.” — In the information booklet.

“Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.” — On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

“For external use only!” — On a curling iron.

“Warning: This product can burn eyes.” — On a curling iron.

“Do not use in shower.” — On a hair dryer.

“Do not use while sleeping.” — On a hair dryer.

“Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.” — On a hand-held massaging device.

“Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.” — On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

“Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.” — On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

“Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.” — On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

“This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” — On an electric rotary tool.

“Caution: Do not spray in eyes.” — On a container of underarm deodorant.

“Do not drive with sunshield in place.” — On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

“Caution: This is not a safety protective device.” — On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

“Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.” — On an “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter.

“Battery may explore or leak.” — On a battery. See a scanned image.

“Do not eat toner.” — On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

“Not intended for highway use.” — On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

“This product is not to be used in bathrooms.” — On a Holmes bathroom heater.

“May irritate eyes.” — On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

“Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.” — On a novelty rock garden set called “Popcorn Rock.”

“Caution! Contents hot!” — On a Domino’s Pizza box.

“Caution: Hot beverages are hot!” — On a coffee cup.

“Caution: Shoots rubber bands.” — On a product called “Rubber Band Shooter.”

“Warning: May contain small parts.” — On a frisbee.

“Do not use orally.” — On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

“Please keep out of children.” — On a butcher knife.

“Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.” — On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

“Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery.

“Warning: Do not use on eyes.” — In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

“Do not look into laser with remaining eye.” — On a laser pointer.

“Do not use for drying pets.” — In the manual for a microwave oven.

“For use on animals only.” — On an electric cattle prod.

“For use by trained personnel only.” — On a can of air freshener.

“Keep out of reach of children and teenagers.” — On a can of air freshener.

“Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.” — On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

“Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft.” — In the manual for a jetski.

“Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death.” — A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

“Do not use as ear plugs.” — On a package of silly putty.

“Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.” — On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

“Warning: knives are sharp!” — On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

“Not for weight control.” — On a pack of Breath Savers.

“Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.” — On the label of a bottled drink.

“Theft of this container is a crime.” — On a milk crate.

“Do not use intimately.” — On a tube of deodorant.

“Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.” — On a box of rat poison.

“Fragile. Do not drop.” — Posted on a Boeing 757.

“Cannot be made non-poisonous.” — On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

“Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.” — On a portable stroller.

“Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes.” — On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

“Look before driving.” — On the dash board of a mail truck.

“Do not iron clothes on body.” — On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

“Do not drive car or operate machinery.” — On Boot’s children’s cough medicine.

“For indoor or outdoor use only.” — On a string of Christmas lights.

“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” — On a child sized Superman costume.

“This door is alarmed from 7:00pm – 7:00am.” — On a hospital’s outside access door.

“Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.” — On a sign at a railroad station.

“Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems.” — On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

“Product will be hot after heating.” — On a supermarket dessert box.

“Do not turn upside down.” — On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

“Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame.” — On a lighter.

“Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.” — On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

“Not for human consumption.” — On a package of dice.

“May be harmful if swallowed.” — On a shipment of hammers.

“Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty.” — A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

“Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.” — In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

“Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.” — From a manual for an SGI computer.

“Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.

“Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

“Do not eat if seal is missing.” — On said seal.

“Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it.”

“Access hole only — not intended for use in lifting box.” — On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

“Warning: May cause drowsiness.” — On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

“Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.” — Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

“Do not use orally after using rectally.” — In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

“Turn off motor before using this product.” — On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame.

“Do not put in mouth.” — On a box of bottle rockets.

“Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

“Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.

“For lifting purposes only.” — On the box for a car jack.

“Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone.